The discovery of an affair can be a life-changing event for anyone currently involved in a committed partnership. It is essential to have the understanding that healing infidelity is not simply a matter of reestablishing trust but also of working through the sadness that comes with the termination of a romantic partnership. It is necessary to come to terms with the fact that the relationship has ended and to go on to the next step in the process, which is to enter into a new relationship contract.

The field of sex addiction has been overly focused on the nature of sex addiction, how to describe and classify it and how to best treat the addict. In this process, there can be neglect of partners and spouses of sex addicts.

Partners and spouses of sex addicts are a profoundly and clinically traumatized population who are disenfranchised from adequate, informed care and ethical treatment. There are many, many partners and spouses who continue to be further harmed, confused, disoriented and re-traumatized by traditional co-addiction treatment interventions that focus on educating and helping partners with their “own disease” called co-addiction while ignoring the treatment of trauma.