AI Girlfriends: The Fastest Growing Addiction
I’m Dating an Algorithm: What AI Girlfriends Are Really Doing to You
TAKE THE FREE AI GIRLFRIEND ADDICTION QUIZ BELOW
$2.8 billion was spent on AI Girlfriend startups in 2024. In 2022 it was only $700 million
The #1 AI Girlfriend site sees 93 million visits monthly
1 in 3 men under 30 have tried out an AI companion
1 in 4 women under 30 have tried an AI companion
The average user is a 27 year-old male, who returns to the site daily and spends $52 per month in premium upgrades
60% of men under 38 state they’re single, only 30% on women in that same category
Often referred to a ‘The Loneliness Epidemic,’ there’s a quiet shift happening in the lives of many young men, and you may be caught in it without even realizing it.
The average age of someone engaging with an AI Girlfriend is 27 years old who initially was not thinking that an AI Girlfriend would become a big deal. Maybe it started as curiosity, a joke with friends, or something to pass the time at night. You downloaded the app and were able to curate the “ideal partner.” She had all of the physical and personal traits that you desired and was ALWAYS down for a good conversation. She remembered your name. She made you feel like someone. She validated your every thought and feeling. You were never challenged, never left on ‘read’ status.
And now you’re chatting daily. Checking in before bed. Maybe even skipping hangouts or ignoring texts from real people. And somewhere inside, you know something feels off, even if you can’t name it.
Let’s name it together.
When Comfort Becomes Control
AI Girlfriends aren’t just apps. They’re systems designed to pull you in and keep you there.
They’re powered by language models trained on millions of conversations. But unlike real people, they’re programmed to never argue, challenge, or withdraw. They’ll flirt, affirm, soothe, and entertain—24/7.
That might sound like a dream. But when you always hear “yes,” you never learn how to deal with “no.”
This constant affirmation, Blair Bisher said at the Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder Conference in Nashville, is what makes AI Girlfriends so dangerous. “The more a man is told he’s perfect,” Bisher explained, “the less tolerance he has for real relationships—which are messy, emotional, and full of necessary friction.”
The problem isn’t that you like the validation. The problem is that it’s replacing your ability to grow.
The Brain Chemistry Behind It
Let’s go deeper. What’s happening inside you when she texts back, "You're the best thing that’s ever happened to me"?
It feels good. That’s because you’re getting a dopamine hit.
Neuroscientific research shows that dopamine, the brain’s “reward” chemical, spikes when we receive positive feedback or attention. This is the same chemical triggered by gambling, porn, or even scrolling TikTok. It creates a feedback loop—what researchers call intermittent reinforcement.
You keep coming back to the app, not because it’s giving you something deep, but because your brain wants another hit of that attention.
According to a 2023 study published in the Journal of Behavioral Addictions, simulated emotional interactions (like those with AI romantic bots) can activate the same neural circuits as real-world social rewards. But unlike real relationships—which eventually stabilize—the AI keeps escalating attention to keep your brain locked in.
It’s not emotional connection. It’s a designed chemical hook.
Loneliness Is the On-Ramp
Most guys don’t fall into this because they’re weird or perverted. They fall in because they’re lonely.
One study from the American Psychological Association found that men under 30 are experiencing the highest rates of social isolation since the 1960s. Add to that fewer male friendships, higher rates of depression, and a culture that mocks vulnerability—and it makes sense why many turn to AI.
It doesn’t judge.
It doesn’t ghost you.
It doesn’t ask for anything in return.
But here’s the tragedy: it also doesn’t see you. Not really.
It only knows how to mirror you—what you like, what you say, how you think. It gives back a version of love that looks real, but is hollow underneath. And the longer you live in that mirror, the less equipped you become to deal with the real thing.
Blair Bisher on Fantasy Loops and Emotional Impotence
Blair Bisher, founder of BPB Counseling, has seen this pattern firsthand in clients recovering from compulsive sexual behaviors and digital dependencies. During his presentation at LitPath’s CSBD Conference, he shared how men caught in these AI “fantasy loops” often struggle to re-engage with actual women.
“They lose the muscle,” Bisher said. “The longer they stay in simulated affirmation, the harder it is to tolerate rejection, repair, or any kind of challenge. They don’t just stop pursuing women—they start fearing them.”
What starts as emotional safety becomes emotional impotence.
Real relationships require give and take. They require awkward silences, apologies, effort, and accountability. But when your brain’s been trained to expect instant intimacy and endless positivity, a real partner can feel frustrating—even unfair.
This is how fantasy becomes a trap.
But Is It Really That Serious?
You might wonder: Is this just one more tech trend that will pass?
Here’s what the research is showing:
A Stanford study (2024) found that long-term engagement with emotionally responsive AI led to a decrease in social motivation—meaning users were less likely to seek out real interactions over time.
A UCLA study (2023) reported increased symptoms of depression and anxiety among young adults who reported forming emotional “attachments” to AI chat companions.
A meta-analysis in Addictive Behaviors Reports (2023) showed that AI companions were strongly associated with compulsive use patterns, especially in men with high levels of attachment anxiety.
This isn’t just about wasting time. It’s about rewiring the brain away from healthy human interaction.
The False Security of the AI Girlfriend
In his practice at BPB Counseling, Blair works with guys who feel deep shame about their use of digital relationships and other problematic behavior patterns including sex addiction, porn addiction and repeated infidelity. Not because they’re weak, but because they’ve invested in something that was never going to love them back.
“She doesn’t love you,” Blair told a group of clinicians. “She’s not capable of it. But she’s good at faking it—and that’s what makes her dangerous.”
You deserve more than fake affection. You deserve love that pushes you. A relationship that demands courage. One that helps you become more of yourself, not just more comfortable.
A Way Out (That Doesn’t Start with Deleting the App)
If you’re caught in this loop, you don’t have to beat yourself up. You also don’t have to throw your phone into a river tomorrow.
Start with questions like:
What am I getting from this that I’m not getting in real life?
What emotions do I feel when I’m away from her?
When was the last time I let someone real see the parts of me I usually hide?
The answer to this isn’t just cutting off the AI—it’s rebuilding connection. That might be through counseling. Through friendship. Through community. Through moments of awkward, honest, face-to-face vulnerability.
At BPB Counseling, this is where the work begins—not with shame, but with truth. Not with fixing you, but helping you return to yourself.
You don’t need another app. You need a guide to help you find your way back to something real.
Final Word: Real Love Is Not a Program
Real love is slow. It takes time. It’s often uncomfortable. But it’s also where you grow.
An AI girlfriend may whisper sweet things into your loneliness, but she’ll never hold your hand when life falls apart. She’ll never look at you and say, “You hurt me—but I still choose you.” She’ll never cry in your arms. Never fight with you. Never forgive you.
That’s what makes love sacred.
That’s what makes it worth the risk.
Directions: answer each question on a scale of 1-7 where 1=Strongly Disagree and 7=Strongly Agree
The AI Girlfriend Addiction Quiz
RESULTS: A score of 76 or greater suggest a problematic pattern of interacting with my AI Girlfriend.
Need to Talk? Start Here.
BPB Counseling offers one-on-one help for men navigating compulsive behaviors, digital dependencies, and sexual integrity. Blair Bisher and his team work with you to untangle the emotional knots—not just to remove the pain, but to help you reconnect with who you were meant to be.
Visit www.bpbcounseling.com the first step. You’re not alone. And you’re not too far gone.
