Help for Sex Addiction

Healthy sexuality is an important part of our lives. When someone is struggling with sex addiction, the trust, deep connection, mutual pleasure of sexual intimacy is lost. At the root of the addiction is an impaired belief system that allows the addict to rationalize their behavior.

The first stage of the addiction cycle is preoccupation. The addict’s mind is completely taken over by thoughts of sex. This increases as the addict engages in the next stage of the cycle called ritualization. Every addict has a way that they prepare for sexually acting out. Here, the preoccupation becomes a trance-like state as certain cues in the environment stimulate them. This leads to the third stage of the cycle, acting out, where the addict engages in their preferred behavior and is powerless to stop. No matter how many times the addict makes promises to himself or herself to stop, they repeat the pattern which leads to the fourth stage of the cylce, despair. The cycle self-perpetuates, leaving the addict feeling failure and remorse. 

There are many tools that are available to treat sex addiction. I offer two different types of assessments. First, take the questionnaire below...

1. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?

2. Do you hide some of your sexual behavior from others?

3. Have you ever sought help for sexual behavior you did not like?

4. Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your sexual behavior?

5. Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire?

6. When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterward?

A positive response to one would indicate a need for additional assessment while two or more indicates sexual addiction.